Thursday, April 22, 2021

Sound of an escapist

Start!

I am 37 going on 38, 

Life is getting murky,

Selling my first house, 

Should I be responsible, Or enjoy the money,

God knows what happens tomorrow 


I am 4 going on 5,

Dad you need to start thinking,

Poetry is nice,

But don’t fuck up my life,

You are responsible for me! 🙇🏻


I am 34 going on 35,

I know you want to chill,

You can have beer and burger 

And maybe a few weed

But don’t be a criminal. 😠👩🏻


I am 37 going on 38,

La la la la la la 

Mmm mmm mm mm mmm 

Blah blah blah blah blah blah! 😈

Friday, August 14, 2020

Ennum Swandam Moideen

Every few months I remember a friend whom I lost touch, with whom I have spent days so fully yet without knowing that they will be just a memory in some time.

I would never forget the first time I met Moideen. Back in 2006 when I went to London for the first time alone. It was a dark and cold winter. Nobody told me that as we move away from the equator, the days become shorter! The company folks although, did teach me how to eat in front of clients and how to use toilet paper. For a month after I landed in London, every day after work I would go to my room, look at the same bottle of Vodka that was supposed to keep me warm but never did. I would go out to the streets after work, but it was too cold to stay long. One day, I went to the nearby takeaway place and was trying to decide what to eat from the backlit menu hung on top. Suddenly I heard Malayalam after 3 long weeks of exclusive British English, it echoed: "Malayalee annale?! (You are a Malayalee, right?)”. It was the guy behind the cash counter, the one, and only Moideen! I asked back curiously - "Engane manasilayi? (How did you know?". He replied with a smile - "Menu kandu pakachu noki nikumbo manasilayi. (I understood from the bewildered look on your face on seeing the menu)". He knew I was attempting to convert the rates in Pound to INR. That was the beginning of a true friendship that lasted for a few good long months.

Moideen's life stories were like those from the movies. Moideen did not show any interest in studies. At a young age, he had fled to Hyderabad while still a teenager. He started working at a restaurant and soon learned some cooking skills. I remember how quickly he would cook, and it would still be mouthwatering! While having food at his UK takeaway place, he would always encourage me to talk to a Pakistani girl who came to use the public phone near his takeaway place. She was very pretty and oddly dressed in a colorful Pakistani dress in central London. Sadly, I would walk up to her but never had the courage to talk to her. Moideen however, never gave up on the hope to find a girlfriend for me while his stories continued. He told me how he got a chance to work at a rich Arab palace in the middle east. Stories of unlimited luxury, I would drool just listening to it. Tales of unlimited drinks and food that were thrown away at the end of every day. The final story was how he came to the UK with the Sheik and never went back! He absconded and started a new life in the UK, after he burnt his old passport, and acquired a new identity! Moideen was like the Jason Bourne of Master Chef.

On a usual day, I would eat anything from his takeaway place and the standard rate was 2 pounds regardless of what I ate. Life was always kind to my tummy. Moideen then got a job at a high-end Indian restaurant far from London and slowly we drifted apart. One last time I saw him was when he invited me to his new workplace. It was a long way by bus, my memories of the travel are faint. But once I reached there it was like being in Gusto's restaurant. I waited in the kitchen, all shiny steel with parallel counters where Moideen & his mates did their magic. Once the day came to an end, we went back to his room and he brought chicken tikka, bread, and red wine and we talked for the last time face to face. Moideen was the second in line to the main chef then. I do hope he has climbed to the top. I bet he has.

Once I got back to India, I got disconnected from my UK life and friends as I was busy making my life back in Trivandrum. Unfortunately, it was too late when I realized I did not know how to contact Moideen. Since then I have looked him up on Facebook but in vain. I still do, occasionally. Although, now I am not sure if I would recognize a 15-year-older-him.

So, to a good friend and an important part of my life. Cheers!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

God has tricky ways

When you stop seeing the world
Life becomes a lie
Same thoughts repeat endlessly
Until the last drop of sweetness become sour

Blind are we
Not to notice the darkness that lure around
Days repeat like a slogan
A slogan you wished never to recite

Blind were those who embraced the slogan
For they never knew the plurality of life
Blind were those who embraced the song
For they never knew the illusion of a song

We wait for a re birth
For that first breath which made us in love with life
A life of curiosity and despair
God has tricky ways

We wait for an ending
For despair has conquered curiosity
To be lazy in the lap of God
But God has tricky ways

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Castway Love

I float and I float not alone
Over a lifeless raft and a snoring sea
On a starry night, salty air
I float and I see you

As I float away from reality
Into the dreams with no shame
Over an ocean that edge on consciousness
I float and I see you

As the tie loosens and planks crank
Silent splashes pour salt over unhealed wounds
Splashes can't drown the fire inside
I float and I feel you

Cast away into eternity
Sleeping for a thousand years
Until the sun gets old and sea turns white
I float and I feel you

Dreams unbound and magical
Nature surrenders and renders to our dance
Angels whistle and whisper stories unheard
We float and float into a dream

Saturday, March 18, 2017

The Bundle of Joy

It has been almost a year since my last scribble.....
Thanks to the Bundle of Joy!

On one of those usual monthly checkups, where we secretly wished to know the unspeakable, just to trim down the list of names of course. Doctor says "fluid levels are a bit low, we need to induce delivery". And we ask calmly "So shall we come back next week to induce?". Doc replies calmly "No, induce now, nurse will take you to delivery ward now". And thus, I joined TCS a week late. Thanks to, bundle of joy!

Inducing delivery is not that easy; after 2 and a half days of splendid time at Aster Medicity's lake-view room, our bundle of joy finally decided to come out of his comfort zone, with the help of a bit of vacuum technology. Having a smoke might have given faster results than medicine inducing; pokuchu purathu chadikyal ayurvedathil parajitundo avo. For those who have had the luck of seeing a human birth, I bet your expression will not be a smile if someone clicks at that moment. I was in a bundle of questions first, then in a bundle of relief and back to questions; But I could see the bundle of joy at the end of the tunnel! ;)

Then came the Simba moment! And as the initial excitements toned down a little, I could hear praises for me for withstanding the 2 and half days of inducing... And that was not good, from the non-glances of mama bear. But thankfully, Bundle of joy had covered it for me. Then, I realized the chap is not just a Bundle of joy, he is a Bundle of Magic!!! ;)

The next many days were about bundles of everything! Bundle of bill payment to start with. Bundle of extreme caution, bundle of curious cases of poop color, bundle of breastfeeding troubles but then... Bundle of joy raises his tiny little arm and moves his little fingers and magic works!

I had not figured why babies were called bundles of joy for a long time but I do now. It is love, magic! And I wish it was as easy as a recognition is to baby, to bring that smile, does not fade away when we grow up.

I hope we see each other, recognize, smile and recognize more deeply. Recognize the life within us, the essence within us. A world without strangers and stranger thoughts, will keep us smiling forever.

Thanks to the Bundle of joy... Keep smiling! :)

Monday, May 30, 2016

The Faceless Man


As thousands stroll through the streets
A Glance of knowing is far too rare.
Is it too much to ask who you are?
My faceless men, with a thousand face

I look deeply into every eye past,
Silently speaking of my hunger through my glance.
Although inside me, the cry is blinding,
For clothes, for food, for a kind word.

As I search for those familiar features, that once held me warm in arms,
A fraction of the pain pounding my heart, trickles down as tears.
For my world has crumbled, and I am lost
I lost my face,
Now I am as faceless as them.

Like fingers passing through a candle's flame, unflinching,
I am not able to touch, the countless you,
Does it hurt not to be seen?
When God gave us all, the gift to see.

Monday, April 11, 2016

The Box

Liberation is a myth with a thousand feathers
Bright and colorful, spread towards the sky
Seducing men like sirens at the sea

Progress was a promise never to be unbroken
A path cut by time and not human

Love is butter that melts,
In the very warmth it was made

Culture is societies pride and dagger
That nourishes and bleeds it the same

Science was never to be told
But discovered for mans endless end

For years human have found boxes
And boxes we stay inside
From ancient to medieval, medieval to modern,
All at the same now

Death was the only way out
Yet we seem to fight against it.